de bi t ch. [Happiness is a journey, not a destination.]

Thursday, October 06, 2005

din make it. but not very sad really. cos i guess i'll still be with my old team. plus i didn't perform today and i know it. so it's all right. lol. :P if i had performed and din make it, it'll be worse. well well nvm. i think the 3rds still rocks. hehehe. :D i know alot of them are upset. well hey dun be. let's prove that we are equally as good as the 2nds. hehehe. :P

anw i duno why i'm feeling like this. duno why that conversation just now seemed so distant. it's like you are just trying to care for me just cos i'm someone. and not cos you genuinely care for me. i mean i know you do. and i know you said you are like that. that's why i know that i have to deal it myself and stop thinking that you dun and stuff. sometimes i just can't help myself. :( maybe cos you are busy and distracted. well we'll just see how. sigh.

but one thing i know for sure is that i miss you so much. that song is playing. :( well i guess i just have to come to terms myself that those pple will always have a special place in my heart no matter what. and stop thinking that i still blah blah blah. i'm happy now and that's all i know. and i don't wana lose that. i've been in and out of relationships. and have learnt more and more about myself each time. and all i know is that, each time i get into a new one, i'll be a better gf, a better person than the last. and this time is no exception. i want to be the best for you. and i'll do my best. :D lol.

i know i still have some unsettling things in me. but i just have to deal with it. be strong and deal with it strongly. and i just have to do what i have to do. you know i'm really glad that i blogged this out. though it's just random rambling, but as i type, i'm thinking of what's in for me, what i'm supposed to do. and i'm smiling, just thinking of you; with that music playing in the background. :)

please take care of yourself. i wish i can spend more time with you. but there's a limit. and i can't do this. it's super not good. and like i said i'm going to be better. and one of them is to get a life. and not take up so much of your time. yup yup. well whatever it is, i can't wait to see you whenever next. :D ladidarrrr. SMILE! :D

S ranted at 12:37 am | 0 comments

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